George died and was buried a short time ago. He was 85. His sons and colleagues spoke of this quiet, devoted father, this calm arbitrator, and faithful Christian. They spoke to us about George’s humbleness. We did not know that he had been given the military cross, and had a street named after him. We did not know that he had been a teacher and superintendent of Sunday School in the early days of our church. I knew, but only because his wife had told me, that they supported financially a boy’s school in Asia run by a Catholic priest.
When my husband was diagnosed with a terminal illness, George would come and visit him. He would quietly appear at the door over the years and ask if it was a good time to see Ed.
George liked to go to the early morning service at his church. He preferred The Book of Common Prayer used at that service. Its theological roots are in the Elizabethan era, and its language similar to that used at the time of James the 1st of England. George liked the old lectionary and such customs as reading the full Ten Commandments on feast days. He backed those who wanted to keep the altar against the eastern wall. He felt deeply about keeping the traditions of our ancestors.
While these practices persisted in the early morning chapel, changes were occurring at the later service in the main church. The altar had been moved forward so that the minister faced the congregation. The new ecumenical lectionary was being used, along with the Book of Alternative Services. This brought with it a more liberal theology and the use of contemporary language.
George and his wife left several years ago. George said he no longer wanted to belong to a church that studied books written by atheists. His concern started on Easter when the Lenten study was The Comfortable Pew written by Pierre Berton. It culminated in his leaving the church when we studied Born of a Woman by John Shelby Spong. My heartfelt concern is how can we hold and serve these pioneers of our faith, and yet grow and learn as a church operating in the 21st century? How can we encourage openness and inclusiveness and at the same time honour our heritage? I appreciate that it is not always our elders that want to hold on to the traditional ways and the youth who want change. Our answer cannot be simplistic in drawing the distinction between the old and the young.
In the book Madsen speak to this concern. They suggest Wings Like Eagles, Clair Woodbury and Joyce “that there are five major dimensions that congregations need to explore in order to be able to meet the challenge: Identity, Context, Leadership, Spirituality, and Vision.” (5)
A few years ago our church decided it was time to review our mission statement. We met in small groups at one another’s homes over pot luck suppers. I remember these as being well attended fun gatherings. They were led by our deacon. Sometimes, but not always, our minister attended. I do not remember George or his wife ever coming.
I don’t remember that we spent a great deal of time talking about our history as a denomination or as a specific church. We didn’t look at what Woodbury and Madsen call “Identity.” We didn’t understand how we were unique and how out community was unique.
Over the years we had filled out varying questionnaires as to what we as individuals thought our needs and priorities were in our specific church — what in Wings Like Eagles is called our “Context.” As we worked with the results of these questionnaires in the small group sessions we came to realize that they had been tabulated and used by our Vestry. The results, however, had not been made known to the laity at large.
Woodbury and Madsen write, “those congregations that had thrived said the number one factor was leadership that was committed, energetic, visionary, and enthusiastic.” (9) Our ministers and deacons have all met those criteria.
Madsen and Woodbury, however, also state that “the secret to effective leadership is that everyone’s contribution is respected.” (9) Unfortunately our minister and our deacon disagreed on many issues. Differences were also felt by members of church committees and the ministry. Camps were formed. When the deacon was priested and left to minister to her own church, no new deacon was named. All small group sessions stopped. Hurts on all sides were not healed. Many left. The minister was left with more work and less people to help.
Perhaps more than anything else, I feel a loss of spirituality in our church. Yes, we can have a successful pastoral care and outreach program. Yes, we can have a variety of church education programs. We can have current and traditional services as well as music. Unless we are connected with God, however, we are not a church; we are another social service or club. We need to ask, “are we a people who truly listen to the point where we really connect with God?” (Woodbury and Madsen 10) Do we attend to our spirituality?
It would seem to me that the church’s passion must be twofold — to attend to God and to attend to God’s creation. Spirituality speaks to both. Different people find it easier to be in touch with God in different ways. George and I found that contact in the quiet, traditional service of the Book of Common Prayer. Others find it in nature, music, interaction with others or in doing good works. Our church must provide a variety of experiences to meet the varying needs of its parishioners and to bring new people back into the church.
Madsen and Woodbury also stress the need for the church to be a safe place for people to share their spirituality (17). Having a relationship with God can make us feel very vulnerable, especially in this rather scientific, rational era. Leadership needs to let us know it is okay to express this vulnerability either in words, tears or ecstatic moments.
In Wings Like Eagles Madsen and Woodbury state:
Jesus knew the religious live embodied a tension between traditional insight and contemporary relevance. His crucifixion tells us this is not an easy task. Is making change in your congregation a recipe for tension? You bet it is, and there are modern equivalents of crucifixion that await the unwary. (76)
George did not like many of the changes in our church. Others did not like the changes, nor did they like how those changes were brought about. If we understand why we do not like change, it can help. If we are completely closed to change, conflict will result. Woodbury and Madsen have a suggestion: “Take people back to Jesus and his ministry as a reminder that the status quo was not acceptable in his (or God’s) eye.” (78) Sometimes, however, conflict can only be dealt with by bringing in an outside consultant.
George and I felt passionate about the Christian Church in general and our own church. We saw it as a place to interact with God and God’s people. It was not the only place, but was one of the main places for he and I.
One of the interesting concepts Wings Like Eagles talks to is the transition from a small parish church of the fifties and sixties to a large church of the new century. I believe for many of the elderly in our church this is part of the difficulty. Can I help to make our congregation a bit more like that original church they started? I can talk with them; I can ask them about family, and I can make sure I notice and comment on it if I notice that they have been away. I can try to keep that intimate aspect of the smaller church.
In nursing we taught that if you can maintain a good relationship with your patient, small issues don’t usually become large problems. One of the things all members of our congregation can do is show respect for one another, honouring our differences as well as our similarities. If we hear of concerns, we can try immediately to listen to them. We can see if we can resolve them, or direct them to the person to deal with them while they are still concerns and not yet problems.
Congregational Life Vol. 7 No. 3 August 2001